How do you tell a traditional Zulu dad who is a pastor that you are GAY? Let me tell you about my dad.

My dad is a pastor and I’m his first daughter. He is the kind of man that does everything according to culture. I may be wearing leggings today, but I made sure he didn’t see me when I left the house because “intombazane ayiligqoki iblukwe” (a girl does not wear pants). I know, I know that’s so old fashioned but yep, my dad is strict like that.

I first discovered my sexuality when I was in high school, but it was so “taboo” I couldn’t talk about it to anyone, not even my cousins. As most queer people would say, “I wasn’t sure about what my feelings were” so I continued to date boys because that was the “norm” and today I have two beautiful children.

One day in 2016 I was having “tlof tlof” (sex) with my then boyfriend but, boy oh boy, I felt nothing! I felt like I was “forcing” myself to have sex with him or even have feelings for the guy. So, guess what I did? NO! I didn’t FAKE “it”. Hahaha, I politely asked him to get off me and had the conversation.

Obviously, his feelings were hurt, I mean I just told him that he doesn’t satisfy me anymore and his ego took a big punch.

When I got home, I called my guy friend and he came rushing. I told him what happened, and then I asked him to kiss me. I know what you’re thinking bestie, but I just wanted to “make sure I wasn’t crazy” bro! I felt nothing and I took that as a sign to COME OUT TO MYSELF and live my TRUTH.

Back to my question, I still haven’t told my dad about my sexuality, so we’ll see how that goes when I finally do come out to him.

But I AM A GAY PASTOR’S KID.