Sexual freedom to me is like my demon possessed pair of shorts, at least, that’s what my mother used to call them. They were black and green, blue and pink. On a good day you could see a little bit of brown and yellow. In short, my shorts had all the colours of the rainbow.

Mother never understood why I loved this shorts so much, yet, she was the very person who bought them for me. ”Take them off, they look possessed!’ she would shout, when I wore them for days on end. I would wash, iron and fold my chaotic piece of material. Funny, in all the complaining and all the shouting, my mother never threw them out. They were both confusing and intriguing, chaotic yet to me somewhat soothing. To some they looked ridiculous but in them I felt victorious.

Many won’t understand why we all need our sexual freedom. It is only until we wear it, feel it and play with it, do we get to value the value of it. Like my mother we need to allow and make it accessible to everyone, and it is up to them to decide what it means and how to wear it. Sexual freedom to me means I can feel and explore, I can be curious. It means I am be able to express myself and yes, it means I am free. I get to choose. Isn’t that a wonderful thing? It means there are days I am happy, some I am sad and others I am confused. It means I get to face the consequences of my own actions instead of bearing the punishment of past traditions. I am not put in a box of societal expectations and outdated values. I feel my own emotions and set aside the expected cues. I am free. I get to love and be loved, not to feel ashamed or rejected. I weigh my options and make my own decisions.

Sexual freedom means I create art and that is what I love. It means I don’t have to endure because ‘that is what is expected of a woman’. I get to fight for what is right. I get to share and talk, I get to wear what I want and freely walk. I am bold and strong to say NO. Sexual freedom means I understand that it is ok not to be ok. That life is messy and it is not my fault. I understand that it is normal to see a professional for my mental, physical and sexual wellness. That it doesn’t mean I lack values or society will think of me as loose if I take medication and seek precautions. I get to decide and that, make me smile.

So like my shorts, not many will understand my sexual freedom. Some have judged and cursed, others have smiled and laughed. That doesn’t matter because, the freedom is mine and I am the only one who understands it.