I know you are asking yourself many questions at the moment, mostly about who you are and why you’re going through many changes in your young life. Trying to understand these changes makes you feel confused and conflicted. You’re scared to ask questions because you fear being judged or excluded… It’s ok, I know what you’re going through.

Truthfully, this journey will be an interesting one but interesting doesn’t necessarily mean smooth. On many occasions, you’ll feel like you don’t quite fit into your circle of friends anymore or like your family isn’t giving you the space you need to grow…It’s ok, I know how you feel.

The pressures from society are endless and they’ll come at you from all directions often forcing you to conform: the music videos and reality shows, the crazy conversations on social media, the perfect lighting for your selfies, looking attractive to the boy you have a crush on. Let’s not forget experimenting with alcoholic drinks that are trending, keeping the 80 percent academic average you worked so hard for and doing all your daily chores before you start with homework – the list goes on… It’s ok, I have been there.

This is where you find yourself asking: how do I deal with all this? You’ve created scenarios where you think you might be labelled an outcast if you don’t take a sip of that popular cider, that you won’t stand a chance with the handsome guy in your Zulu class if you stop giving him your notes, that your mom will give you a lecture about the dishes you’ve left in the sink overnight, or that your favourite teacher will be disappointed when your marks start dropping… It’s ok, I know what it’s like.

Overthinking these situations only makes you feel anxious, so you try to juggle until eventually you reach boiling point. Either your social life suffers or your academics take a dip. This balancing act is difficult but you won’t regret “falling out” with a few friends just to get that excellent academic record or admitting to your favourite teacher and your family that you are not coping with all the demands. Also, try using some practical tricks that I have also used like doing a timetable for your chores and school work so that you cope better. Most importantly, it’s acceptable to say “I am struggling” and ask for help…. It’s ok, I am here for you.

From one sis’ to another

Lungile