I wish… Actually, no – I WILL!

Dear little sister,

I wish someone had been there to walk with me as I changed from a little girl into a young lady. I wish I’d fixed my relationship with my dad. I wish I’d taken my education more seriously. I wish my body was like hers. I wish I hadn’t given my heart away to all those boys. I wish they didn’t bully me. I wish someone had told me how I’d feel after I slept with him – the guilt, the shame, the self-consciousness, the insatiable desire for more, everything.

There are still so many things I wish I had been told, so many things I wish I knew, so many people I wish had been there for me, so many things I just shouldn’t have done and others that I should’ve done but didn’t… I’m sure you can say the same or even more about many things you’ve experienced and I’m certain that life will present many more opportunities for both you and me to “wish”. That being said, I believe everything in life happens for a reason and had any one of my experiences been left out, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t be able to encourage and motivate you and because of that, I’m grateful!

This reminds me of the Japanese art “Kintsugi” where they repair broken pottery by filling the cracks with gold, silver or platinum lacquer. Research says, “As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.” In my opinion, “wishing” is staying broken and action or being “willing” is putting yourself back together after each fall. It’s taking some time out to recalibrate. It’s crying yourself to sleep but still waking up the next morning and doing what needs to be done. It’s forgiving yourself for not reaching your goals. It’s tenacity! It’s you, girl! You are perfect in your imperfections.

“Here’s to strong women, may we know them. May we be them. (& whenever the time comes) May we raise them.” – Unknown

One true thing is that there’s absolutely nothing we can do about the past but we can change the future through the choices we make every single day! So, I’ve made a decision to change my mindset from “I wish” to “I will”. I don’t want to focus on what could’ve been but on what I can do now to get me closer to where I want to be and I want you to do the same.

“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old but building the new.” – Socrates

Lots of love,

Big Sis xx

One Comment Add yours

  1. Nolwazi Lunga says:

    Thank you so much for this lovely letter

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