Don’t let the Red of Valentine’s Day surprise you.

Valentine’s Day, 14 February 2016, my first time being in the big city, new friends, new environment, a new boyfriend and my first Valentine’s in varsity. Everyone was excited about the day, not to say I was not, I was but I was also nervous at the same time because I had just gotten a new boyfriend and didn’t know what to expect.

It’s true what they say, new love can really drive a person crazy, and to be honest, I was in that state of mind. My friends kept on going on about how ready they were for the day and also how they got it all covered in terms of sexy lingerie and pretty outfits, and there I was, all clueless. What was I going to wear and what do I get for my boyfriend? We had been seeing each other for a month and I didn’t know what he actually liked. After all the stress and curiosity, my friends came through for me, and finally, I was looking forward to the day.

The university was hosting a Valentine’s Day dance and we decided to go with our boyfriends. On the day of the event, we went and wow! The day was so red! red roses, red outfits, red candles, red disco lights, it was magical!

I still remember the romantic, soulful songs that were playing in the background, young in love couples dancing slowly to the music, holding hands and smiling to each other. I wanted that too. It was only then that I had noticed that my boyfriend was not into it, he kept whispering to me, that it was boring and not the kind of vibe for him. So, we decided to go to his room, at student residence. He told me to feel comfortable, and yes, it was my first time visiting him because I am the “wait at least four months and get to know him better” kind of girl.

My friends kept sending angry text messages asking why I left unannounced, but I couldn’t care less because I was with the one I “loved”. The excitement of the day caught up to me, the dancing, the drinks and the butterflies in my stomach. The world was spinning around me and I decided to rest my head. In my sleep, I felt his hands trying to move up my thighs past my dress and into my panties. I woke up confused trying to figure out if I was dreaming or not, and yes, I wasn’t! He smiled, suddenly all naked and said he wanted me. Obviously, I freaked out, jumping off the bed and demanding to go home.

He was so furious and called me all sorts of names. He thought I was some cheap girl who has no morals and self-respect, that I was easy, but I proved him wrong and stood up for myself.

He thought that since we went out to the dance together, had a great time and I agreed to go to his room we were going to have sex.  We had never discussed sex and he assumed that I will just go along as he wanted it.  I was not ready and I had the courage to leave without a second thought. Just because it’s Valentine’s Day DO NOT feel pressured to do it if you are not ready. Communicate about sex with your partner, if your expectations are not met, walk away with your pride.  Your health comes first.

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